Tackling One Problem at a Time

Three years ago I was given some very good advice from a close friend who had a special needs child. She said, "Cory, there will be a lot of little behavioral habits develop you wont like. Work on them one at a time. Admit to yourself that you can't tackle them all at once. They didn't start all at once. Don't wear yourself out trying to deal with them all at the same time." By now, most of us have figured out ADHD is a long haul trip.

Great advice but advice that got lost in the early stages of dealing with J's ADHD. Fast forward three years, it has come back to mind. J has developed several behaviors I do not like. Mainly, talking back, arguing, and temper tantrums. I have been wearing myself out, as well as everyone in my house, trying to deal with all of these at once. No more! Not after the horrendous day we had yesterday.

Having made this commitment I ran to the store and bought a note book to write our weekly/bi weekly goals down so that we can read over them every day.

This first week I am going to tackle the way J talks to people, mainly adults within the house.

Our goal: Be able to think about how his voice sound before/while he speaks.

Questions J can ask himself before/while he is speaking:
1. Does it sound rude/have attitude?
2. Does it sound angry?
3. Are you yelling?

If he says yes to any of these questions here are step he can take to fix it.

1. If it sounds rude/has attitude try restating it with please/thank you. Change your tone. Leave the attitude out of your voice. If it sounds rude or mean to you then it probably does to the person you are talking to.

2. If it sounds angry calm down before you say anything else. If you have to leave for a while, excuse yourself but let them know you will come back once you have calmed down. Once you have calmed down come back and talk to the person. Remember, things said in anger can't be taken back.

3. If you are yelling, stop. People don't listen when you yell. Walk away and come back after you have calmed down.


I have done my best to try and keep the wording simple and as short as I can. As most of you know, kids having an ADHD meltdown don't listen to what you are saying. I don't recommend trying to go over this during a meltdown. Ride the meltdown out and address whatever goal you are working on after the child has calmed down. I hope this helps.